Random Tales
by cybergirl26
Summary: A collection of standalone short stories framed around particular episodes. First one: Disaster Averted
1. Chapter 1

**Disaster Averted **

"Guess we'll have to stay here then." Ted said as he watched the rain splash against the window and onto the balcony.

"Great." Robin said annoyed.

"I'll let you sleep in the bed with me." Barney winked, but Robin just rolled her eyes, clearly still mad at him for pretending to be her dad calling her.

"Dibs on the couch." Ted exclaimed.

"I guess Marshall and Lily are taking the master bathroom, they've been in there forever." Robin noted.

"Do you think they are doing it?" Barney asked, chuckling.

"Seriously though, if we have to ride the storm out here, then we should figure out who sleeps where, right?" Ted asked.

"Well if you take the couch, and Robin and I take my bed, then Marshall and Lily are out of luck."

"I'm not sleeping in a bed with you." Robin said.

"It's the prime spot Robin, do you remember how comfortable my bed is?"

"I'm not refusing to sleep in it because I don't think it's comfortable." She retorted.

"Is this a pull-out?" Ted asked and started to inspect the couch.

"I don't think so…"

Ted started to pull on it, but nothing happened, "guess not."

"This is just great." Robin said as she crossed her arms.

"Fine, how about the three of us share the bed and leave the coach to Marshall and Lily? Lily can sleep on top of him, right?" Barney suggested.

"Sure, if you are comfortable with that?" Ted asked Robin.

She took a deep breath, clearly annoyed by the whole situation.

"I'll be there too so it's not like you are going to be alone with him." Ted added.

"Fine, but you sleep in the middle." Robin told Ted.

"Deal."

"YES! That'll be fun." Barney grinned.

"No it won't." Robin replied.

"I think it will." He winked at her.

…

"So who is up for a threeway?" Barney asked as he climbed into bed beside Ted and Robin.

He had stripped to his boxers and Ted asked, "you are the only one with clothes here, can't you put some on?"

"I gave my sweatpants to Lily and Robin." Barney replied.

"This is still super weird." Ted scooted as far towards Robin as possible.

"Dude, space." Robin replied.

"But…"

"This is going to be awesome." Barney exclaimed as he blew the last candle on the nightststand out.

"Why did you do that?" Ted asked.

"What? Blow out the candle?"

"Yeah, now we are in complete darkness."

"It's a fire hazard, and let's face it, doing it in the dark will be less awkward."

"You boys do whatever you need, but neither one of you better wake me up." Robin said.

"Sure you don't want to join?" Barney teased once more.

"Stop being so creepy Barney." Ted replied annoyed.

Some time passed until Barney started moving again, getting out of bed.

He walked around it, and climbed in on the other side, carefully scooting under the blanket next to Robin.

"Dude what are you doing?" Ted hissed.

"Nothing, go back to sleep." Barney replied.

"Barney, this isn't funny. Leave her alone." Ted whispered.

"I am." Barney replied annoyed as he scooped Robin into his arms.

She stirred a little in her sleep and ended up nuzzling her face into his neck.

"Get back on the other side of the bed." Ted hissed once more.

"Shut up Ted, you are going to wake her up."

"I should wake her up, who knows what you are doing over there."

"I'm not doing anything."

"You are touching her, aren't you?" Ted asked.

"Not the way you are thinking. Just shut up and go to sleep Ted."

"I don't feel comfortable leaving her with you like this."

"Dude I dated her too."

"That doesn't give you permission to … do things to her."

"I meant that I care about her just as much as you do."

"Right, that's why you pulled that heartless prank on her earlier."

"Whatever." Barney replied.

He gently pulled Robin closer to himself and enjoyed the feeling of holding her again.

It had been way too long.

"Why are you doing this Barney? Even if you are just cuddling or whatever, you know how weird it's going to be for her to wake up like that?"

"Just let me deal with it."

…

Barney woke up when Robin started stirring in his arms.

"You smell good, Barney…" she whispered half asleep.

He grinned and kissed her hair, "you too."

It took her another minute to realize what wasn't right.

She looked up at him, while simultaneously pushing him off herself, "what are you doing here?"

"You were facing the window, and I was scared that it would scatter and injure you." He replied.

It took Robin a second to comprehend what he had just said, but even though it had been a sweet gesture, and he had expected her to be moved by it, she wasn't.

"I don't need you to take care of me." She replied and untangled herself from his arms to climb out of bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Architect of Destruction**

"So you and Lily talk about everything, huh?" Barney asked as he took another sip of his scotch.

They were waiting for Lily and Marshall to get here, and Ted had just excused himself to the restroom.

"What?" Robin asked.

"About your sex lives." He clarified.

"Dude, Ted's been gone for ten seconds and you are…"

"It's not a setup for a dirty joke." He quickly said while checking the door, but neither Lily nor Marshall had arrived yet.

He turned his body towards her, "Max said something in the locker room the other day."

"About me?" She asked surprised.

He nodded, "nothing bad, just his reasoning for breaking up with you."

Realization dawned on Robin's face.

"Did you…tell Lily about how far we went?" he asked, and it occurred to Robin that he was sounding almost vulnerable.

She quickly shook her head, "no, I didn't. I would never tell anyone about that Barney, that was between you and me."

He sighed in relieve, "good…I wouldn't either."

"Well, duh." Robin replied.

Barney took another sip of his drink, and Robin regretted making fun of him, knowing full well that he had been uncomfortable as well but went along anyways for her sake.

She leaned closer until her mouth was almost touching his earlobe, "and fyi, I told Lily that you were an inch longer than you actually are."

She moved back and winked at him and Barney started to grin sheepishly.


	3. Chapter 3

Miracles

"Well, it's getting late." Ted said as he was getting up.

"It's nine-thirty." Barney complained.

"Exactly, it's nine-thirty, that means Lucy is going to bed in half an hour, and since I need roughly forty minutes to Stella's house, it also means that now is the time to leave."

"Ough, I remember the first weeks after our engagement." Marshall grinned, "this one could not keep her hands to herself."

"Nope. Go Ted, take advantage of the blissfulness of the early engagement stage." Lily encouraged him.

"Could you please not talk about sex? My balls are killing me after two weeks of being tied down in this bed, unable to move." Barney complained.

"I thought you nailed a hot nurse last week?" Robin teased him.

"I did. It was legendary."

"Yeah, in your fantasy." Marshall shook his head and got up as well.

"You guys have no idea what I'm going through." Barney complained.

"Well, we'll hang out again on Thursday, okay?" Lily promised, she had gotten up as well and leaned down to hug him goodbye.

Ted and Marshall each padded Barney's arms, which were still in casts, "I think mission impossible is on later."

Barney just frowned.

"You coming?" Lily noticed that Robin was still sitting in the chair.

"Nah, you guys go ahead, I don't have anywhere I need to be."

Lily smirked, "okay, then, have fun you two."

Robin rolled her eyes, as the others finally left the room.

"Thanks for staying a little longer." Barney said once the door was closed behind their friends.

"As I said, I don't have anything else to do." She shrugged, "so, how do you feel, and I don't want to hear the crab you told us earlier. For real."

"I'm okay."

"Barney, come on."

He hesitated, but then whispered, "I really hate this Robin, everything hurts and itches and I can't do anything by myself, you know how embarrassing that is? I wish I could just be in a coma and wake up when the bones are healed, at least then I wouldn't have to live through this."

Robin moved closer and put her hands onto the cast of his left arm, "being in a coma wouldn't be fun."

"This isn't either, trust me."

Robin took a deep breath, "I'll make it fun."

"What?" he asked surprised.

"I'll jerk you off if you want."

His eyes got huge, "Robin…wait, is this a test or something?"

Robin shook her head, "we've had sex, so I mean it's not the biggest deal in the world, right?"

In her head Robin added that she was somewhat responsible for Barney's and Ted's friendship going askew and him ending up here in the first place, so the least she could do was making him feel a little better.

"Under one premise, you cannot tell anyone." She added.

"I wouldn't, I won't." and then he added, "I only told Marshall because I was panicking, but he wasn't supposed to spill – attorney client privilege."

But Robin ignored his attempt to talk about what had happened after their night together and instead asked, "so, you up for this or what?"

"God yes." Barney replied.

Robin got up and walked into the bathroom to grab some paper towels, checking whether or not the door had a lock on the way back. Of course it didn't.

"The night nurse isn't coming back until after ten." Barney explained.

Robin nodded and sat back down.

"Thank you Robin." He said sentimentally.

"It's just a favor between bro's, okay? No big deal." Robin replied.

He nodded, "still, thanks."

"No talking about this ever." She repeated as she grabbed the lotion off the nightstand and pulled the blanket back.


End file.
